hellfish. who?

Hellfish (charcharodon infernalis) is an underwater creature living mostly in the hadal area of the sea. The earliest known Hellfishes date from more than 420 million years ago, before the time of dinosaurs and that worthless human scum era. The Hellfish is unarguably this world's largest extant macropredatory fish and is one of the primary predators of marine mammals and alcoholic substances, even though it's favorite prey are those weak weak humans. This creature has the incredible ability to breathe outside water and it's feared for it's strength and ferocity. Also it probably is the main reason for most natural catastrophes which in fact aim for destroying the whole world population. (Thanks to modern world censorship conspiracy plans we'll never know that for sure.)
Little is known about Hellfish behavior. According to recent studies, this marine creature goes ashore every now and then, destroying everything that comes in it's path searching for one of it's favorite foods: humans with dip-sauce. In fact pirates & seamen used to fear them more than anything else because not only they would disintegrate their ships, eat their legs and right eyes and lay their eggs in their dead bodies but they'll also drink up all the rum reserves! Legends say, Hellfish were frozen for centuries in the deepest abyss of tortuga by an acient magician called Gigiello-Maria "Calypso" Borghetti and eventually re-awakened by a group of Surfin'Psychos captained by Aaarghwaald Destructoroooaaar! who were searching for a plug which can destroy the world. Instead they found this frozen creatures and they obviously decided to push the unfreeze-button pointing and laughing at the sign which said: Danger! DO NOT push the button or it will unleash the Hellfish plague over humanity once again! We won't survive this time!
So how is this story going on you might ask? Keep up with the latest frightening details of Hellfish's destructive journey against human scum and the soundtrack to it. All this and less on HELLFISH'S OFFICIAL BLOG! Hail Aaarghwaald